A VISION to redefine what luxury means to those who never believed they deserved it


When I was young, I was tall and slim, and one of my earnest desires was to model. I never in a million years believed it was something I could do, because I was raised in the foster care system and I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t called names like ugly and monkey face, by foster families and my own family. During my childhood, and well into my teen and adult years, I have no member of anyone ever saying anything positive that may have led me to believe I could fulfill my dream. The distorted image I had of myself was that nobody with an ugly, monkey face deserved nice things. And for many years thereafter, long after the pangs of childhood memories were no longer, the damages caused to the child were visited on the woman. I was a grown woman, with a budding career as a traveling respiratory therapist, and nobody had to deny me of anything, because I made sure to do it to myself. 

 I don’t remember the exact day, or if there was a pivotal event that occurred, but in 2019 I suddenly had an earnest desire to open a clothing boutique. I was a middle-aged woman on a mission, and all I knew was I needed to get it done. I ordered the most fashionable and trending items at the time, and I enjoyed doing it. But the little girl in me still resided, because as much fun as I had playing dress-up with the pieces I’d ordered, there was nothing in me that led me to believe I was ‘pretty enough’ to model in front of a camera, I would hire the pretty people for that. 

As 2019 ended, COVID-19 began, and those ‘pretty’ people that enraptured me as I pictured them adorned in fashions I selected, all let me down. And my dream of launching a high-end boutique, gone, and the child in me laughed, as if it were possible for anyone ‘like me’ to do anything so extravagant as to have a dream. Just like that, I gave up and threw myself into work, traveling to COVID hot spots and doing what I could to make a difference. 

By the time 2022 rolled around and things were getting back to some sense of normalcy, that same spark I had 3 years earlier, hit me again but this time it was different. Something manifested in me after all the months of watching lives being swiftly taken away by an invisible predator. I knew it was time to stop being afraid. Time to let the frightened child, who only heard and felt the castigation of those responsible for loving her, go. 

This was my year of growth and self-love, and my determination was fueled by my child’s dream. I did everything differently. I dressed up in the latest fashions and told myself, I AM BEAUTIFUL, AND I AM ENOUGH, those words were exactly what I needed to rid myself of the fear of being in front of the camera. And I conquered it head-on.

CoCo Smith Luxe